i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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