When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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