thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
