Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
