all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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