I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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