he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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