The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
