She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
