i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
