two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
