So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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