So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
