i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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