There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
