And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
