My friends, they love my intelligence
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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