I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
