we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
