Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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