READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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