Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
