Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Randomize
