Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
there is glitter all over my balls
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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