I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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