I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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