i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
nutella sex= disaster
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
