I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
