community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He shit in the fireplace
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
