And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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