omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
