You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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