My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm sobbing to NWA
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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