Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I lost the right to judge tonight
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
