Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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