the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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