yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
