Don't make out with my wife yet
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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