I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
