I want to have your abortion
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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