I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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