Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just want to make out with him forever
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
