My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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