good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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