I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
