one two three fourrrrnication!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
