She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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