: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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