He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
