Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
