Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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