Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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