A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
