Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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