fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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