I think I am morally bankrupt
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
