My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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